AEE 58: The Unspoken Rules of Dating in English in America

dating in AmericaDoes that girl or guy love you??

Today we are going to answer some questions from our listeners about dating rules in the United States.

You can also get 3 phrases to use when dating in the United States here.

1. How do you tell someone that you like them?

You can say:

“I like spending time with you” or “I enjoy your company.” These phrases are better than directly saying “I like you.”

2. How do you know if someone likes you?

This can be different in different cultures!

In American culture, if the person sends you a personal text message often or if they return your text message quickly, they might like you.

Also if you go out for dinner or coffee and the person wants to pay for you, that could be a sign that they have a romantic interest in you. But if the person suggests that you
“Go dutch,” then that might mean that they aren’t interested. However, in some business situations, a colleague might pay for you so don’t get confused!

If the person invites you out for dinner or a coffee then they might like you.

When the person listens to what you are saying- the day that you have an interview, when your birthday is, etc. and if they call you or text you on a special or important day, that might mean that they like you.

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3. How do you know when someone is NOT interested in you romantically?

In the US, if someone doesn’t text you back for a long time after you write them a text, they are probably not interested. If they wait for 2 days to write you back, that might be a signal that they don’t want to date you.

If they wait until the last minute to ask you out, you are their last resort, their last choice. If they really liked you, they would plan ahead and think about weekend plans with you on a Tuesday or a Wednesday.

If they avoid extended eye contact with you they might not be interested. In the US, extended eye contact can mean romantic interest. BUT be careful! In some situations like an interview, you also need to make extended, direct eye contact and that does not mean romantic interest.

However, it is still true that if someone is interested, they will look you directly in the eye for a longer period of time. If they aren’t interested, they might avoid eye contact with you.

If they suggest a group date after you ask them out on a solo date, it’s possible that they are trying to avoid time alone with you because they aren’t interested in you.

One more tip!

It’s very rare to ask someone to be your girlfriend or boyfriend after one date! It usually takes at least 4-5 dates before you might ask someone to date you, exclusively.

Episode 13- How to Date in America

Tell us about your dating experience in the United States?

What challenges have you encountered? Let’s talk about it in the comments section.

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